As a birthday gift my mother sent me a photo of grandfather (her father) along with a few of his personal effects (he passed away in 1998), which included a resume of his medical education and publications. He lived to be just over 90 years old, so how could two pages tell his story? He grew in Weyburn, Saskatchewan not far from Regina where I spent my FORMative years.
He and I went to many garage sales, he inspired me to become a health care professional and helped form my desire to learn photography (I wish I had learned more from him about film photography). There is a photo of him at my age; we look a lot a like, but I also have my paternal grandfather’s chin, who I never met..
My 40s are approaching, so I thought it was time to review the first nearly four decades. We tie our identities to many things including what happened in our past, our occupations and our families. While our pasts have shaped us to become who we are today, they don’t have to shape tomorrow. Each decision we made has had an effect on our lives; that decision could have been simply turning left instead of right a few years ago while walking to the grocer.
It took me many years to be able to comfortably, authentically and confidently share that depression and suicide attempts were part of my life. The bullying that lead to these is no longer the story I tell, but I realize those years deeply affected my initial level of trust I hold towards people and how I handle particular situations.
Writing out my story from my birth in London, Ontario in 1976 to two wonderful parents, who have been married for nearly 50 years to today when I myself have been married for one and half years was quite a journey of discovery.
Those years after moving to Vancouver were quite traumatic, however I no longer have the emotions attached to high school bullying. I jettisoned many of the self-defeating beliefs when I attended Unleash the Power Within with Tony Robbins.
What I also discovered is that I really didn’t celebrate that much. Each event I wrote down initially with very little emotion and often skipped over some major accomplishments and awards. When I went back to fill in the blanks I started to feel very proud of what I have accomplished.
There are also some very pivotal moments in my life that changed my direction completely. One was deciding to come back to Vancouver after my undergraduate degree to attend UBC for non-degree related upper-level courses. During this time I broke up with my fiancée and met Dr. Christensen, who has a spinal cord injury. He was my first personal training client. Our six months together propelled the focus of my life’s work on providing those with disabilities, medical conditions and injuries with the opportunities, knowledge and facilities to stay active for life. It also inspired my vision for my own facility – which is almost crystal clear.
Being fired from my first job in fitness was devastating. However, one week later I was hired to as Personal Trainer at Fitness World within two days of handing in my resume. During my eight years with them I blossomed into one of the top in the company for Personal Training sales, met my very dear friends and best woman at my wedding, met my lovely wife and I started Lifemoves as a strategic alliance with them.
Growing up in the Prairies really does define my character and pride. There is a very good poem by David Bouchard:
On the prairies I learned to embrace the snow and winter. I learned to cross-country ski, a sport I will be enjoying my entire life. My first twelve years also gave me a couple of pseudo elder brothers – the Jensens. The two boys, Erik and Olaf were both older than me, but we did a lot together including learning to ski in Jackrabbits, playing with legos, hiking the Rockies and many Christmas dinners. Being the youngest, of course I ended up with the hand-me-downs; a good thing in the end.
My time in Saskatchewan changed my blood colour to Rider Green. Brock and I would get free tickets from Safeway to the kids’ end-zone area and then sneak into the main stadium claiming we had to call home (the only pay-phones in the place were in the concourse). One of my fondest memories is of attending a touch football camp at Taylor Field (now Mosaic stadium). We were mentored by some of my heroes. I still have the t-shirt, but it is a tight fit and my wife won’t let me wear it.
Growing up with my parents – no choice there, love them to bits shaped my values and the type of marriage I sought. I can not count a single divorce in my extended family, nor that of my wife’s. My mother is doting and very caring, while my dad has is own unique way of showing is devotion to my well-being.. He challenges me to always be better than I am by being very direct.
While I was younger both parents came on the family hikes and cross-country ski trips, but once I started to carry a pack, which was initially just my sleeping back the adventures became more just myself and my dad.
My mother was very happy being a wonderful children’s librarian who knew that if she climbed the library ladder who role would shift a way from the children. She had a knack for finding the oddest things. She would help me with my school projects. While my dad built a software company out of his home. He sold the software in the 80s and we moved – with great protest on my behalf to Vancouver in 1988.
It is his tenacity, hard work and entrepreneurial spirit is why I now own my own business. Being entrepreneur has tremendous challenges at times, but also many amazing rewards. The thought of working for someone else makes me shudder. My summer of kayaking and flexible hours working a training log software helped to understand that coding and software development is something I too enjoy.
Now, there are many similar products, but he was ahead of his time – nearly 20 years, but lacked the resources to make it big. This makes me think, how can I gather the resources to go after my big audacious idea that I came up with in 2000?
Even with the thunderstorms and heavy rain in the winter, I am still very gratefully for the first year of kicking and screaming twenty-five years ago. Vancouver is a wonderful place to live. Although I wish have traveled to Europe and USA, I will always come back home to Vancouver. The day my parents permanently move back to Vancouver I will be jumping up and down with great glee and joy.
Moving to Vancouver has led to many adventures and accomplishments. It was in Vancouver I started to pursue my dream of learning to fly by joining the air cadets. That same year I tried Biathlon. The shooting added a layer of complexity and joy to cross-country skiing. Sign-me up!
A couple of years ago my dad revealed that he become a coach to help me become a better athlete. Last year he was named Biathlon Coach of the Year for Canada. It was a BC Winter Games where I came home with several gold medals and one silver in Biathlon – I was grinning ear to ear! Without Biathlon I would have never realized my own Olympic dreams. He was instrumental in the Vancouver 2010 bid; he and I both had volunteer roles at the Biathlon venue in 2010 and on the field of play.
He was on the range while I my role was an Anti-Doping chaperone. What better vantage point than to be in the tick of things with the athletes spectators and the media? Wow. We were even able to watch the Women’s Biathlon before our own events.
One thing that has become crystal clear during the last four months is that there are things that might set you back, some times in a very traumatic and dramatic way, but they are meant to propel you to even greater things. For me, having to move my business suddenly to June made momentarily question my purpose, however it introduced me to someone who then connected me with my own clinic space. My business now has a stable foundation to growth.
The process of exploring my own story is helping me understand that I don’t celebrate my accomplishments as much as I need to. Also, that there have been certain things in my life that have shaped my beliefs about finances and money. Thought patterns that I am in the process of changing dramatically.
Try writing out your own story. What do you discover? Find a quiet space, grab some tissue and water, now start writing.